There's no place like home

Daily News (West Bend, Wis.)
Published: Jan. 26, 2019

An unconventional idea by two local nonprofits helped a family that was homeless and in disarray get back on their feet

By Nicholas Dettmann

ndettmann@conleynet.com 262-306-5043

WEST BEND — Jordan Thiede, a sophomore at West Bend East High School, wants to go to culinary school and become a chef.

“I like cooking a lot,” he said.

He likes to cook just about anything — except fish.

Having the dream of going to culinary school was a distant one about a year ago.

At that time, his family was broken. Mom and dad were both caught up in drug and alcohol addictions. Mom was addicted to heroin and alcohol, while Dad was addicted to crack.

While close with his siblings, they were drifting apart. Jordan’s oldest brother, Tyler, joined the Army and his sister, Hailey, left to live with a friend.

Nineteen months ago, the Thiedes found themselves living in a tent in a campground. At that moment, Sheri Thiede said enough was enough. She picked up the phone and called Family Promise of Washington County.

“We were desperate,” Sheri said. “We were so broken.”

Sheri, who had been dealing with addiction for more than 30 years — since she was a teenager — said that phone call plus the work of the staff at Family Promise saved her life and her family.

“I want my children to grow up and be successful,” Sheri said when asked why she made the call.

Fast-forward nineteen months.

On a chilly Monday afternoon, Sheri, along with Hailey and Jordan, are in a place they can call home, one with bedrooms, bathrooms, and, more importantly, heating and a roof. They have that not only because of hard work, but also the collaborative effort of two nonprofits in Washington County.

“This is the success story we’ve been looking for,” said Lori Prescott, executive director at Family Promise. “With Big Brothers Big Sisters (of Washington County) helping this way, one of our clients that have black marks on their record. This helps them in a huge way that they are back on their feet. They’re trying to right those marks.”

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The idea that changed a family, maybe a county

In November, a three-bedroom, two-bath apartment above Big Brothers Big Sisters of Washington County’s office in downtown West Bend became vacant. A staff meeting was held to figure out what to do with the space.

Nikky Naumann blurted out the idea.

“Why not use that space to help out because we knew Family Promise was full and this other household would have to go to a completely different county so I was like, ‘Why don’t we just use upstairs instead of trying to find another tenant?’” she said.

When the idea was said, there was disbelief in the room. After a moment was taken to let that comment sink in, Jaymee Harvey Willms, executive director at BBBS, couldn’t believe what she heard.

“I was mad because I didn’t think of it,” she said with a smile.

From there, the conversations between BBBS and Family Promise picked up. The work to make it happen also got going. Two months later, the Thiedes were no longer in the care of Family Promise. They were in a place they could call home and the family was coming back together.

“For the longest time, I didn’t think it was possible,” Jordan said. “I didn’t think I would ever see this happening.”

Harvey Willms said she hopes the collaboration between BBBS and Family Promise is the start of something greater in Washington County.

Several weeks ago, United Way of Washington County hosted a large discussion, featuring representatives from nonprofits and local business leaders to discuss the needs of the community. A common theme was a suggestion for nonprofits to work in unison on more projects, think outside the proverbial box when looking at how to help those in need with whatever they need.

“I’ve been working with different nonprofits in this county for four years,” Harvey Willms said. “And over and over and over again I’ve had families come to me whose life is hard and ask for help. It is the worst feeling in the world to not be able to give it.

“Every time I meet a new executive director or a team member from a different nonprofit, I’m like, ‘Oh. That’s what I needed two years ago.’” BBBS and Family Promise may have — and hopefully — opened up a floodgate that could only bode well for Washington County and its residents.

“I think the more resources we can connect for people, the stronger Washington County is,” Harvey Willms said.

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The struggle

Prescott remembers when Sheri arrived at the facility.

“Her case was a tough one,” Prescott said. “She was struggling with addiction.”

Sheri said she called Family Promise because she couldn’t stand the idea of living in a tent

on a campground with a 14-year-old son and that her older children had left. “I just couldn’t deal with it anymore,” Hailey said.

So, Jordan and his mom went to Family Promise, where they stayed for about 18 months. Jordan noticed several things right away.

“When we walked in, a lot changed real quickly,” he said. “After we went to the Promise Center, it was always up, never down.”

That was refreshing, for once.

“It’s definitely been a tough a lot of times,” Jordan said about the days, weeks and months leading into that stay.

Jordan called it the lowest point he’d ever seen his family.

“For the longest time, the best way to put it, I was the adult taking care of my mom and dad because they weren’t able to at the time,” Jordan said. “They were still recovering from being sober, using so long and being sober again.”

Jordan has been a little at BBBS since he was about 8 years old. His big, John Averkamp, has been an asset in his life as Mom and Dad struggled with their addictions. Jordan called Averkamp the dad, the big brother he yearned for.

Jordan and Hailey often struggled, too. They lacked trust and reliability with their parents. Hailey said she felt disconnected. So she left to live with a friend for six months.

When her mom and Jordan moved into Family Promise, Hailey came back around.

“She was actually putting words into action,” she said.

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Life pointed in right direction, a family is stronger

Outside of a lot of unpacking, Sheri said it’s a miracle for her family to have reached this point.

“It’s chaos. ... It’s good chaos,” she said.

Their turnaround is inspiring, Prescott said.

“To see them and reconnect with her family, it’s the story you want to see, the outcome you want to have,” Prescott said.

“I’m a mom. Before, I wasn’t a mom,” Sheri said.

Sheri said she and the kids’ dad have put their differences aside to create a united front for their children.

The bond within the family, especially between Sheri and her children, have changed dramatically.

Jordan said he and his sister have always been close, but it was hard because of how the family was being riddled with instability.

Now, when Hailey comes home from work, Jordan proudly shouts to her, “Hi beautiful.”

“There’s a lot of times people don’t make it as far as we did,” Jordan said. “It was a lot of struggle and a lot of self-motivation.”

It was also at Family Promise that Jordan discovered an interest in cooking.

“I’m so proud of her,” Jordan said. “There are not a lot of women that are that strong that go from absolutely nothing to this. I know a lot of people that would’ve just given up.”

As for the cooking, what was the first cooked meal in the new home? Macaroni and cheese.

“It’s amazing what going from zero to this can do,” Jordan said. “I can count on my mother. I can count on my sister.”

Now, Sheri is proud to be an advocate for Family Promise and be a motivator for others in a similar situation. Her message to them is simple.

“Don’t be ashamed,” she said.

She also said if she and her family can overcome these obstacles, anyone can.

“She wants to give back in that way,” Prescott said. “She has helped us promote her story, came to events we held and she’s nervous to share to her story, but willing. She could be the best spokesperson we have.”